Acid Rain
by GatesVengeance
Summary: Set five years in the future. Seth and Dean have been together for years now but after they get released from the WWE, Dean spirals downwards into alcoholism and depression after he realizes that his dream is gone but he doesn't notice he's pushing Seth away too. M/M, Complete
1. Part 1

**Part 1:**

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer: **I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.

Dean felt incredibly nervous as he and Seth walked down the long, quiet corridor. They'd been told about an hour ago that they had a meeting with the boss but the messenger refused to tell either of them just what it was about. He could feel his heart beating in his chest hard, the thrumming causing his breathing to speed up. He just had a horrible feeling about the meeting that they were going to be summoned for and he couldn't shake it. No one just got called into a private conversation with the boss for no reason.

He glanced over to his right and looked at Seth. The younger man had the exact same look he had on his face. He reached forward with his hand and grabbed a hold of Seth's, their fingers sliding together and squeezing, fitting like they were always meant to be. Seth's head turned to him and he smiled, softly and with all the love that the younger man always had. The younger man always looked so innocent and caring regardless of what was going on in their respective lives and careers.

The pair had been through a lot over the past five years. It had taken every ounce of courage that Dean possessed to even confess to the two-toned man that he had feelings for him. He fondly remembered the night he had told Seth how he truly felt, his heart pounding hard in his chest, stomach swirling while it was filled with as much alcohol as he could hold onto. He was surprised he _could_ even remember but the night had been so monumental in his life that he couldn't _not_ remember. His memories flashed to him and he could clearly see the look on Seth's face when he told him that he liked him. The younger man's face contorted into a shocked expression before Seth had reached forward and pressed his lips to Dean's for the first ever time.

Every single part of Dean's body had set alight when those soft, pink lips touched his. His arms had reached out and wrapped them tightly around Seth's toned body, pulling the other man as physically close to him as he could. Seth's own arms had wrapped around Dean's body too while they kissed, skilled tongues playfully rolling and curling around each other the more intense and intimate their kisses got. The only thing he couldn't remember was how long they'd stayed like that, locked in a passionate embrace. They only pulled apart when both men couldn't breathe and had to stop.

They didn't have sex that night but they shared a bed, Dean's arm protectively wrapped around Seth's middle as they slept. The feeling that filled Dean's heart was something that he never wanted to leave him. He felt complete having Seth's warm body in his grasp, inhaling the younger man's scent and feeling every curve of the other man pressing hard into his own body. He would never want to have another in his arms ever again. No one would fill the void quite like Seth did.

The first time they had sex was something that Dean would never forget for as long as he lived. He'd been around the block a few times before, experiencing a number of different partners while Seth had only had a few but none compared to being with the younger man. There was something else that filled him from the first moment he pressed into Seth. Their two bodies just seemed to fit perfectly together like they were meant to be. That night had been one of Dean's favourite moments of his whole entire life and he'd never been happier than he was on that night. Not even when he won his first world championship was he that happy.

Of course not everything was straight out of a fairytale and there was problems that neither of them could ignore. Seth still had his girlfriend and Dean had his. They were secretive for the first year of their relationship, not breathing a word to anyone other than each other for fear of being found out. They couldn't even trust Roman with their secret relationship, scared that he could accidentally blab to one of his cousins which would start a domino effect that neither man was ready for.

It was easy enough for Dean to break up with his girlfriend. The pretty blonde accepting the news and moving onto another man within the first month or so but Dean hadn't even batted an eyelid. It would be hypocritical for him to be upset over his ex moving on so quickly when he'd been sneaking around her back for over a year. Seth's girlfriend, however, was not as easy to give up on their relationship. She'd kicked and screamed at Seth to give them another chance, _pleaded_ with him for weeks with non-stop phone calls and text messages but Seth wouldn't give in to those demands. He ended up giving her their house that they'd called home for the past seven years along with her car and their dogs. It had hurt him to give up his fluff babies but he knew that he could always get his own dog again one day.

The couple moved in together not long after that into Dean's apartment right in the middle of Las Vegas. Seth had put his own spin on their shared place together and after only a few months of living together, they slowly started to tell their friends and families. They kept it with their nearest and dearest at first, not bothering to tell just _anyone_. Seth was nervous the whole time though, scared his other friends might desert him for now dating a man instead of a woman but none of them did. They all stood united by Dean and Seth, showing their private support for the loved up duo.

Dean had been the one who pushed for them to tell their bosses whilst Seth had been more than a little hesitant. Seth knew that there wouldn't be too much backlash but he was still absolutely terrified to. Seth would never forget the look on both Stephanie and Paul's faces when they told them. Both sets of eyes bulged out of their skulls while Dean said the words, Seth much too terrified to say them out loud. It took both Paul and Stephanie a minute to finally get over the shock of the two of them being together before Stephanie's face broke out in a large grin and she happily embraced them both, saying that she was proud of how brave they were to even come out and tell them.

A few months after they had told their bosses, they both decided that it was time to make their relationship public. They had been together for almost two years at that point and living together for one. Again, Seth was the hesitant one, always trying to stall the date that they would make their announcement while Dean just wanted it over and done with. The older man just wanted to be able to live his own life again not that he _ever_ put anything out in the public eye but this was something that he didn't want to hide anymore. He didn't necessarily want to rub his and Seth's relationship in anyone's face but he did want to share with the world that he had found his soul mate.

They advised Stephanie of their plans and she wholeheartedly encouraged them to do it. She even set it up so that they could make their announcement on the WWE network as a special presentation. Out of the corner of their eyes they never saw the glaring looks that Paul was shooting them, his eyes narrowed and his lips twisted into a scowl. They were both far too wrapped up in what they were doing as a couple to even notice that their boss was shooting them filthy looks when the camera wasn't on him. Hell, they hadn't even noticed that he wasn't exactly too thrilled about them being in a relationship together. Stephanie had taken over the spotlight from her husband, forcing him into the background while she lavished attention over both men.

Their announcement had been screened on the network and attracted a whole range of media attention from across the country and around the globe. Both men did countless interviews about their relationship and promoted the company whilst doing it. In turn they both received an even bigger push than what they were getting already and within the next twelve months, they had each held a world title and headlined several more pay-per-views. There had been some backlash on their relationship from some fans but it never affected either Dean or Seth.

Three years later and both men were as still happy. Slowly and steadily, their relationship had almost been pushed under the rug by the company. There had only been a few comments about their relationship during commentary and that was when they had their final tag team match together. After that, their relationship was never brought up again unless the question was asked first despite the fact that both men were in the top tier of talent alongside their former stable mate.

Seth was the most upset about the steady decline of their careers. It didn't happen all at once but gradually, both Dean and Seth were forced out of the headlining matches and often relegated to the pre-show or not at all on pay-per-views. Seth definitely took it to heart and became a little paranoid, convinced completely that it was because they had come out. Dean had tried to persuade him that it wasn't about that at all, that their decline in TV and pay-per-view time was down to a lack of timing and momentum. Although the more he thought about it, Dean was starting to get more and more convinced that maybe Seth was right.

Dean was pulled away from his memories as they grew closer and closer to their destination. They were so close to stepping through the doors and meeting their fate whatever it might be. He squeezed Seth's hand tighter and pulled the younger man into him, their arms pressed together while he avoided the stares of their co-workers as they walked along the seemingly never-ending corridor. He could feel his stomach twisting in knots as they closed the gap towards the door. He glanced over at Seth and saw that the other man felt the same, the fear written all over his face. They were both shit scared of what was going to happen.

The couple finally stopped when they came to their destination. Blue and brown eyes raked over the words 'Paul Levesque, Chief Operating Officer' that were on a plaque stuck to the door. Dean sucked in a hard breath, exhaling slowly to try and calm his racing heart beat even though he knew it wouldn't work. With a shaking hand, he slowly lifted his hand and knocked three times on the dark coloured door.

His stomach clenched uncomfortably when they both heard the words "come in" muffled through the door. He leaned forward and pecked a soft kiss to Seth's bearded cheek, mumbling words of love before he opened the door and both men stepped inside of the small office space.

Paul looked up from the papers on his desk and had to fight the urge to scowl as he saw the two men that walked into his office holding hands. "Close the door." He said sharply. He watched the two men fidget uncomfortably whilst in his presence and it actually made his chest swell with pride a little bit. He waited until the door was securely closed before he spoke again. "Take a seat gentlemen. Please."

Seth and Dean split then, their hands dropping as they each took a seat on the two chairs that were opposite of their boss. The tension was thick inside of the room and Dean admittedly felt a little sick. He had a horrible feeling that this meeting was not going to end well for both him and Seth. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "You, uh, you wanted to see us Mr. Levesque?"

"It's Paul. Please." Paul instantly corrected Dean's words. "And yes I did. Now there is a reason that I called you both in here for this meeting today. Do either of you have an idea as to why that might be?"

"No idea." Dean answered simply with a shrug. He glanced over at Seth who had paled slightly. He wanted to reach out and gently place a hand on the younger man to let him know that everything was alright but he didn't really think it would be appropriate in front of their boss.

"Both of your contracts are expiring in the next month and after a long deliberation with the members of the board, we have decided that we will not be renewing them." Paul said quite simply. He watched as both faces fell from his words. "You have both been a great asset to the company over the past few years and you are both great superstars. On behalf of the company, I would like to wish you both the best in your future endeavors and thank you for your time in the company."

Seth was in shock. He'd just been fired from the job he'd worked so hard to get to. "What did we do wrong?" He asked in a small voice.

"You haven't done anything wrong." Paul answered instantly. "It's just been decided by management that you two will both not be required as part of the roster for the company moving forward."

Seth's brows creased. There was something he didn't like about the way that Paul was speaking. "Is it because we're gay?"

"No. Darren was gay and that didn't matter." Paul answered.

"Yeah but Darren wasn't the caliber of talent that we are." Seth shot back. "And you got rid of him pretty quickly after he came out too."

"I don't know what you're trying to insinuate Rollins but I wouldn't step over a line that you get back from if I was you." Paul said sharply.

"Do you think we're fucking dumb?!" Seth snapped. "You're trying to get rid of us because you are a homophobic jerk! And who gives a fuck if I _do_ step over that line, it doesn't fucking matter! You just ruined both of our life dreams!"

"Look Seth and Dean, I know you must be upset but believe me that we as a company are _not_ homophobic and we certainly didn't make the decision to release both of you because of that." Paul tried to calm down Seth but he knew he was failing. "I will say that it didn't help matters that you both are that way inclined. We are trying to run a family program after all."

"What the fuck does that mean?!" Dean yelled loudly this time. His whole body had been on fire, his heart racing hard in his chest while Seth and their soon-to-be former boss had been going at it verbally. "It was _your wife_ that encouraged us to come out to the public and put it on _your_ network. And now you're just going to turn your back on us?"

"It is a decision that we as a board didn't take lightly. We just believe that you two have reached your full potential in the WWE." Paul answered sharply. "If you want to keep going though, I can make your end of employment here effectively immediately."

Seth stood up suddenly. "Good! Because there is no way in hell that I want to work for a homophobic pig like you!"

"I'm not homophobic!" Paul snapped back.

"If you're not homophobic then you won't mind if I just go and sit on my boyfriend's lap." Seth closed the gap between he and Dean and sat down on the older man's lap. He kept his brown eyes locked onto Paul's as his ass connected with Dean's strong thighs, the older man's arms wrapping around Seth's middle naturally. There was a flicker of something that flashed across Paul's eyes and Seth definitely didn't miss the scowl that briefly appeared on the oldest man in the room's face. "You fucking asshole."

"Your contract with this company has now officially ended." Paul said sharply. His face was pulled tight, his lips barely moving as he spoke. The rage was visible on his face as he spoke. Nobody spoke to him like that. "Please get your belongings and leave the arena immediately."

Seth stood up and grabbed a hold of Dean's hand. "I'm gonna sue you for everything that you're worth."

"Go ahead and try boy." Paul shot back. He knew he shouldn't be playing into the bait but he couldn't help it, this was just the kind of person that he was.

Seth dragged Dean to the door and pulled it open, yanking it hard enough that it smacked hard against the wall. He knew that there was going to be dints but he really didn't care. He was so fucking angry and upset that he couldn't give a fuck if he got reprimanded for it. He didn't work here anymore.

Dean took control of Seth's hand and tugged him through the door quickly. They kept their heads down as they walked back to the dressing room they shared with Roman. Even after the Shield had split and Roman had been pushed to the moon and back, they still decided to share a locker room. Their bond as brothers was something that would never break. He felt a rush of sadness wash over him as he thought about abandoning Roman, leaving the one who was pegged for greatness right from the start in a tank full of hungry sharks.

They reached their locker room faster than expected and as Dean opened up the door, he was thankful that they were alone. He closed the door sharply and dropped hands from Seth to pull the younger man in close to him. The enormity of what had just happened had just embraced him and the anger dispersed into sadness. This was the end of their lifelong dreams. This right here, working in the WWE was both of their lifelong dreams and with one wave of a hand they were shoved away as if they didn't exist.

His hands tightened around Seth's waist while the younger man's wrapped around his neck. Seth's face was buried right in his neck and it pained him to feel the wet spot that was from Seth's tears. He tried to remain strong for the sake of his boyfriend, knowing that if he cracked then they would both never be able to pull themselves back up. He could hear the soft sobs and he just pulled Seth in tighter to his own body, his hands gently rubbing up and down Seth's smooth black t-shirt.

He could feel the tears brimming at the corners of his blue eyes. They were there and they were ready to fall but he tried to hold them off. He didn't want to crumble and become the one who needed the consoling. But the more the realization sunk in, the harder it became to hold back the tears. They'd just lost everything. Literally everything that they had worked so hard to even earn. He felt a single warm tear roll down his cheek and he knew he was done for. He buried his face against Seth's cheek and let the tears flow whilst he sobbed quietly against the younger man.

"What's going on?" Roman's voice sounded obscenely loud in the otherwise quiet room. The Samoan man was taken aback when he saw the bloodshot, red eyes of his two former stable mates. "What happened?"

"We're gone Roman. We've been fired." Dean answered through a muffled sob. He took a deep breath as he looked over at the other man.

"What?! _Why_?!" Roman's voice was loud and grew in volume the more that they spoke.

"We're not good enough for the company moving forward." Dean answered. He felt Seth's face push into his neck and once more he was forced to be the strong one. "I think it's cause we're gay."

"They can't fire you because of that! That's discrimination!" Roman was outraged.

"Well they did." Dean said simply. "And now we lose our dream and we have to go back to find something else to do with our lives. Cause I sure as hell don't ever want to wrestle again."

"I'll go talk to them! I'll convince them otherwise!" Roman was desperate now. He couldn't lose his two best friends because of a stupid reason like that.

"Don't." Dean shot back. "There's no point all three of us getting fired because Triple H is a homophobic asshole."

"It's not _fair_ though." Roman sighed. "You two shouldn't be punished because you're in love. You can't chose who you fall in love with."

Dean shrugged. He could feel more tears welling up in his eyes and he tried desperately to hold them back. Seth was clinging to him so tightly that he could barely breathe and the sounds of his boyfriend sobbing were starting to affect him. He knew that they both needed to get out of this arena, catch a plane and go home. "We need to leave."

Seth pulled back from the tight embrace he was locked in with Dean and moved away to pack up their belongings they'd brought from the hotel. He didn't say a word as he did, just kept his eyes purely focused on his task while he continued sniffling every so often.

Dean turned back to Roman and just looked at the Samoan man. "Well Roman, it's been great working with you. I'll miss you. You're the brother I never had."

"Dean." Roman's face fell a little at the words and without warning, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around the slightly younger man. He pulled Dean in close to his body and squeezed him tightly. He could feel the tears that were pricking at the corners of his grey eyes. He almost didn't want to believe that it was real. He was going to lose his two closest friends. Wrestling definitely wouldn't be the same without them. "I don't want either of you to leave."

Roman's words struck at his heart hard. He didn't want to leave either and he knew Seth definitely didn't. He pulled back from their tight embrace and looked Roman right in the eye. He could see the sadness in the Samoan man's grey eyes and he knew that his own feelings were reflected into those captivating orbs. "You'd better not forget about us."

"Forget about you?!" Roman asked incredulously. "You two are my best friends! I can't believe they kept Ryder on the roster and let go of you two!"

"Ryder doesn't suck dick that's why he got to stay." Seth said sharply. He could feel his anger rising again. His head was a cluster fuck of emotions, switching rapidly from anger to sadness. He truthfully didn't know _how_ to feel. He didn't know if anyone _could _tell him how he should feel right now. He had never been in this situation to even judge it properly.

"Seth, c'mon. It _can't_ have been because of that." Roman tried to reason. He closed the gap between himself and the smaller man. He hesitated, scared to make that final move, knowing that once he hugged the younger, smaller man that it very well could be the last time he held or even spoke to him for a while to come. He still didn't move, his feet planted firmly to the ground.

Seth made the move for him, the two-toned man leaning forward and wrapping his arms tightly around the much larger Samoan's body. He could feel his chest tightening, heard the sharp inhale of breath that Roman sucked in before those strong, tattooed arms pulled him in closer for a long, soothing hug. He could feel the tears as they pricked at the corner of his eyes and when he looked over Roman's shoulder at his boyfriend, his resolve crumbled.

He pulled himself away from Roman's strong hug to throw himself back into Dean's arms. No other could soothe him the way that Dean could. He sobbed hard into the older man's t-shirt, his hands grabbing at the thin cotton, pulling Dean impossibly closer. He drew comfort in knowing that Dean was always there to hold him up and protect him from the rest of the world. His whole body was shaking as he poured his emotion out onto Dean's shoulder, only stopping momentarily when he felt his boyfriend's lips press a soft kiss to the side of his head. He pressed in closer, desperate to get more of Dean's comfort, eager to never leave these arms again. This was the only place he felt safe.

Dean's hand gently ran through Seth's two-toned coloured hair, soothing the younger man. To watch him go from a raging lunatic to a sobbing mess literally hurt his chest and made his heart lurch uncomfortably. "We should probably go. It's not like we work here anymore." He tightened his arms around Seth and gave him one last squeeze before pulling back slightly. "C'mon Seth. Let's go home."

Seth nodded mutely. He stayed snuggled in close to Dean, his face buried deep into the older man's warm neck. After a few moments he pulled back slightly and actually looked at Roman. The Samoan man looked visibly distraught. "Thank you for being one of the best team mates we could ever ask for and our closest friend. Imma miss you Ro."

"I'm gonna miss you both too." Roman said sadly. He watched as Dean grabbed their large sports bag and slung it over his shoulder while Seth stayed glued to his other side. "Hey Dean?" He called out, the younger man turning and looking at him with sadness etched in his blue eyes. "Take care of him, won't you?"

"Of course." Dean answered automatically. He looked down at the man that was pressed right against his side, his brown eyes still leaking tears as they took the first step out of their former locker room.

His heart was racing as they walked down the corridor, the piercing eyes of their now former co-workers watching their every move. He felt a little panicked, his chest tightening and he thought he couldn't breathe for the scantest of moments. He was absolutely terrified of what their life would be like not as WWE superstars. He didn't know how he could even think about it. He could feel the anxiety that was rushing through his body and he knew that once they'd stepped out of the arena doors and climbed into their rental car that it was over. His dream was over. Their dream was over.

He tried not to let Seth see this vulnerable side of him. He usually hid it so well, his walls brought up to hide the side of Dean Ambrose that no one got to see. The side that had been hidden away from public eyes since he was a young boy. Since that first time he found out what his mother did for a living. He cried himself to sleep that night, the horrifying memories flashing across his eyes while he stupidly tried to sleep. He'd been thirteen at the time and being foolish, he went into his mother's alcohol cabinet and pulled out a bottle of cheap vodka. He didn't remember how much he drank only that he woke up in a pile of his own vomit the next morning.

Alcohol had been his way of coping and while he didn't do it as often as he did when he was a teenager and young adult, the soothing taste of it washing away all of his problems that he wasn't ready to deal with was always comforting in some way or another. He'd gotten better over the years but he could feel his willpower cracking. He needed something to calm him the fuck down before he stressed out so much that he had a panic attack or worse.

He opened the door up for Seth before climbing into his own and drove. The only thing that could get him through their long journey home was the promise of a drink, his salvation and escape away from their problems. He knew he was being selfish in not trying to protect Seth more but sometimes saviours had to fall. Every superhero had their own kryptonite.

Not everyone could be strong through it all.

**TBC**

**A/N:** so something a little bit different to what I usually write. This will be a three-part fic and the next two chapters will get a lot darker and deal with some other issues. I hope you guys liked it. I mean, if you don't, I'll just pull it down. The song that inspired this whole fic is "Acid Rain" by Avenged Sevenfold. Thanks for reading and reviewing! GatesVengeance x


	2. Part 2

**Part 2:**

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer: **I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.

Dean just sat in front of the screen, his blue eyes unable to tear themselves away from the large television that he and Seth owned. His left hand grabbed tightly at the arm of their black leather recliner while his right squeezed tightly onto another bottle of beer. He lifted the bottle to his lips, cursing when he realized that he had emptied out yet another one. He cursed and stormed off to their kitchen, his mind and heart racing a million miles an hour as he stumbled slightly towards their fridge.

Seth wasn't home of course and he probably wouldn't be for a few hours yet. The younger man had left for the gym a few hours ago but the argument the couple had before the other man left made Dean wonder if Seth would even come home. He let out a sigh while his mind wandered back those few hours. An uncomfortable pain in his chest while he closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"_Just come to the gym with me Dean. Please?" Seth's brown eyes were pleading with his boyfriend. If Dean didn't come with him today then that would be the tenth time in a row that the older man had refused him. The more Dean said 'no' the more and more concerned he grew for Dean's well being. "C'mon. You need to get out of this house."_

"_I don't need to do anything that I don't want to do." Dean snapped back. His blue eyes were cold and stood out dramatically. "I just don't feel like going again, okay?!"_

"_The old Dean wouldn't have made up excuses like this." Seth said quietly._

"_The 'old Dean'" Dean used quotation marks with his fingers as he spoke. "wouldn't have refused you, no. Because the 'old Dean' was a WWE Superstar not some asshole whose a mechanic for minimum wage."_

_Seth sighed. "Dean."_

"_Don't fucking _Dean_ me." Dean said sharply. "You get to be this elite Cross Fit athlete and I'm a fucking loser. Sorry that I don't feel up to going to the gym with someone whose better than me."_

_Seth closed the gap between them and gently rested a hand on Dean's strong shoulder. He flinched when his hand was shrugged off like it was an annoying weight. "Come with me please."_

"_Why? So you can show me up _again_ and make me feel shitter about myself?" Dean asked. He gently placed a hand on his once toned stomach, the muscle slowly softening over the past few months. "You're the last person I want to make me feel worthless."_

"_Dean." Seth sucked in a hard breath. He was really starting to get more and more worried about Dean's mental health the longer he sat and did nothing. "I don't want to make you feel worthless. You know you mean everything to me. I just-" He felt the first tear roll down his cheek. The pressure and stress from the past few months finally cracking him. He took in a deep breath before he spoke, his heart rate slowing slightly. "I-I just want it to be like the old days with us sometimes. We never do anything like that anymore. I just want my old boyfriend back."_

_Dean felt his chest tighten as he watched and heard Seth pour his heart out. It literally hurt him to make Seth upset. "I didn't mean to upset you Seth. That's the last thing I'd ever want."_

"_You've only upset me because I'm so fucking worried about you!" Seth's voice rose in volume as he spoke. "Us getting fired wasn't just hard on you, you know! But I don't sit around moping, I'm out fucking _trying_ to rebuild our lives!"_

"_And you think I'm not?" Dean snapped back. "I've got a fucking job and I'm working. Is that not good enough for you?"_

"_That's not what I meant!" Seth sighed loudly. "I can see that you're not happy and I'm fucking _trying_ to get you back to being the man that I fell in love with. The man who held my hand through it all and has now given up on everything!" His heart was racing hard in his chest. This was the first time he'd actually said the words out loud, actually voiced his opinions that he thought something might be wrong with his older boyfriend. He swallowed hard. "I don't want you to feel like you're worthless or that you aren't good enough for me because you are. I just want you to be you again."_

"_If you're looking for someone to fix, it's not me. I was broken when I left the damn womb." Dean said sharply._

"_I feel like I don't even know you anymore!" Seth yelled loudly. He could feel his emotions pushing right through his chest. He had to get out of here. At least at the gym he could tune it all out, focus on being the best athlete he could and not have to worry about home for an hour or so. "I'm going to ask you one last time to come with me. Please Dean?"_

"_No." Dean answered quietly. He could see the sadness as it washed over his love's face. "I can't go with you Seth. I'm sorry."_

"_You aren't sorry." Seth shook his head. He could feel the tears as they built up at the corner of his eyes. He wanted to see some sort of remorse wash over his boyfriend but was more than a little annoyed by the fact that there was nothing. "I might not come home from the gym."_

_The words stung Dean's heart like an ice cold slap to his face. He felt sick in his stomach just from the thought._

"_Did you hear me? I might not come home." Seth's voice grew in volume once more. "Cause I can't fucking deal with your negative attitude to everything."_

_Dean still didn't say anything. It felt like his tongue was tied into a thousand knots. He _wanted _to tell Seth not to be so stupid, tell the younger man that they could work this out and that he didn't have to throw that threat out in the open. He couldn't even fathom being without Seth._

_Seth didn't say another word either. He merely threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the house, the door slamming hard, echoing and shaking the entire house._

Dean shook his head from the recent memory, his blue eyes opening to find himself staring at the inside of his fridge. He reached in and grabbed another beer off the second shelf. He groaned when he realized he only had a few of the alcoholic beverages left. He hadn't realized that he had that much to drink in the past few hours, the drinks blurring into one and shoving his focus away from himself.

He shut the fridge door and walked back into the living room where his television was. He threw himself back into the recliner. He twisted the top off of the slim bottle and lifted it up to his lips. The first trickle of the alcohol from a new bottle made him feel immensely better as he tried to focus on something, anything. The past few hours he'd been sitting on his chair flicking through the various channels. He hadn't really had a whole lot of motivation to do much at all recently other than sit in his chair and watch television after a long day at work.

The past few months had been hard on both of them but he had definitely taken it the hardest. He took another long sip of his drink as his mind flicked back through his memories. It was the hardest on both of them during the first week that that had left the company that they had worked so hard to get into. Those first few days back at home with nothing at all to do were hard. There were a lot of tears and nights where they just stayed up talking and planning what their next move would be.

Dean had encouraged Seth to go out and be this amazing Cross Fit athlete that the younger man had wanted to be since he had started working out at those gyms. But of course his career as a professional wrestler had always gotten in the way. Seth was so focused on becoming this athlete that it left Dean to scramble for his own new path in life. He didn't really have any skills as such outside of professional wrestling and he didn't have the desire to do anything athletic so he settled for a minimum wage job as a mechanic. A job that was okay but not what he really ever wanted to do professionally.

"And they're over the barricade! They're out with the WWE universe!" Michael Cole's voice cut through his otherwise silent house.

He looked at the television, actually watched it for a minute as the images of two men that he didn't even recognize battling away through the crowd of people who were loudly cheering them on flashed across the screen. He didn't know why he kept watching, the mere vision of what he loved to do making his stomach swirl uncomfortably. He'd been scrolling through the channels when he landed on a repeat of this weeks Raw. He tried to reason that he was waiting for Roman to make an appearance but that did little to console his broken heart.

He lifted the bottle up to his lips once more and took another long sip, draining most of the bottle in that one gulp. His head swam with insecurities among other feelings that he didn't think he'd ever be able to say out loud. He felt at his lowest when he couldn't even tell Seth _why _he was so damn upset all the time, _why_ he struggled to get out of bed most mornings or even _why_ he just had to have a drink every single day. He and Seth hadn't spoken about their unfair dismissals since that first week of being home and that affected him.

He took another long sip as he thought about Roman's last words to him. _"Take care of him, won't you?"_ He couldn't even fucking do that. He knew what Seth wanted and needed and for five long years he had been that pillar of strength for the younger man. He'd been the one that Seth could always rely on, the one who was always there to be the bigger man, the one who would help Seth through everything. Not anymore. Dean knew he needed help but the mere thought of asking for it made him feel weak and pathetic.

He hadn't slept properly in weeks, his mind too focused on reliving the past and being unable to push through to the present and actually live. He'd been simply existing for much too long. Seth deserved better than some asshole who just sat at home on his days off and drank away his sorrows. He deserved better than someone who was too upset that they couldn't even go out and be the couple that they once were. He couldn't even be the man in bed anymore. He could hardly remember the last time they had had sex. He was acutely aware of the fact that he wasn't anywhere close to the man that had won Seth over all those years ago and he felt disappointed in himself.

"What are you watching that for?" Dean glanced over to the door. Seth was standing there with his arms folded tightly across his chest. His face was sweaty and his hair a black mess.

Dean shrugged. "It just came on. Roman hasn't been on yet."

"I don't think you should be watching it." Seth said quietly. He dropped his gym bag onto the floor next to him as he made his way over towards where Dean was. He gently sat on the couch that was next to him. "Dean. I want to talk to you."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "About what?"

"About you." Seth answered quietly. "I'm worried about you. You were literally _all_ I could think about while I was at the gym. That's probably why I had such a horrible workout."

"Sorry I ruined your workout." Dean said softly. His blue eyes were glazed over as they stared into Seth's chocolate brown orbs.

"Dean." Seth breathed out. He could feel his own tears building up as he stared into Dean's eyes. The eyes that he loved so much. He choked back his own emotions as he stared at Dean. He barely recognized those eyes anymore. "I'm really worried about you. You'd tell me if something was really bothering you, wouldn't you?"

Dean nodded. He couldn't bring himself to even speak, his tongue catching in knots once more.

Seth sighed heavily. "I'm going to have a shower and then I'll cook something for dinner, okay?"

Dean watched as Seth turned away and stood up. "Seth?" He felt the chocolate brown eyes lock back onto his. "C'mere."

Seth leaned down closer and was surprised when Dean gently caressed the back of his head before he pulled his head in close to his. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as Dean leaned forward and pressed their lips together in the sweetest kiss he could ever remember having with the older man. He could taste the beer on his lips and he almost flinched away from it._ Almost._ He would have pushed the older man away if it hadn't have been the first kiss they'd shared in weeks.

He was a little disappointed when Dean pulled away from his lips. His skin felt like it was on fire, nerves crawling just from the simplest of kisses. His skin tingled when he felt Dean's hand gently run through his single coloured hair, the tips grazing his scalp and causing him to shudder involuntarily. It was almost embarrassing that he got so worked up from a seemingly simple touch "I'll be in the shower."

Dean watched his younger boyfriend walk away, the clothes sticking to Seth's muscular back in the most erotic way. He dropped his beer onto the coffee table next to him, not caring that it rolled off and landed on their carpet with a dull thud. He stumbled after his boyfriend, the alcohol swimming in his head and making him feel a little dizzy but that didn't deter him. It had been far too long since they'd done little more than hold each other occasionally while they slept.

He managed to make his way up the narrow stairs in their townhouse, his hand gripping the smooth wooden rail as he stumbled slightly up the staircase. He could hear the sound of the shower running from the bathroom down the hall and he quickened his pace. He closed the gap between the staircase and the open bathroom door and just stopped right in his tracks. He felt his mouth drop and his heartbeat increase as he looked into their simply decorated bathroom. He didn't pay any attention at all to anything else but the man who held his heart standing right there near the glass shower door in all his naked glory.

It was almost like the first time Dean had seen Seth completely naked all over again. The younger man was absolute perfection in his undressed state. Seth had never lost his muscular physique, the clear definition of his toned stomach hadn't changed a single bit in the almost six years they'd been together. It was perfect when they'd started dating and he knew that it would stay perfect until they were old and grey. His heart sunk as he glanced down at his own body. Even through the clothing he'd pulled on, he could see that he'd lost part of his own hard earned body, his stomach softening ever so slightly. He knew immediately that this was because he'd chosen alcohol as a coping mechanism for his problems instead of going to the gym. Not that he ever felt like going to the gym anymore.

He reached up and slammed the palm of his hand hard against the door jam. He lifted his eyes and saw the scared look in Seth's chocolate brown eyes. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"What are you doing in here?" Seth's voice was quiet as he turned to Dean so that he was face on. He felt his cheeks flush as Dean's blue eyes raked over every inch of his sculpted body.

Dean didn't speak. He lifted his gaze and locked them onto Seth's for the longest of moments, their chocolate and blue eyes locking and holding a private conversation that neither was ready to say out loud. He crossed the small room and pushed himself against Seth, his hands cupping the side of the younger man's face while their lips locked. Their kiss wasn't romantic this time. It held every single ounce of passion that Dean held, Seth's bottom lip opening almost instantly and allowing Dean's tongue to push inside of the warm, wet mouth.

Seth pushed back against the kiss, his naked body pushing into Dean's fully clothed one while his hands reached up to grab onto Dean's hips, holding the other man close. His brown eyes fluttered shut and he tilted his head to the side to allow Dean's tongue to push in further, taste everything that he had to offer. Even though the taste of several bottles of beer on Dean's tongue made him want to push the older man away and off him, he couldn't. He had to have this moment with the older man, enjoy the sensations and forget for a moment that they as a couple had a huge problem that neither were quite ready to deal with.

His fingers danced underneath Dean's shirt, nails scratching at the firm skin causing an involuntary groan to push into his mouth. His hands grabbed at the flimsy material and tugged the cotton t-shirt up and over his older lover's body. Their lips parted for the briefest of moments while Seth pulled the shirt off and he took this as a chance to look at Dean properly. The older man may not have looked as defined as he did when they were still wrestling but his torso was still something that got his heart racing. His chocolate brown eyes dragged across every inch of Dean's body, committing it to memory just in case this encounter was the last one for a while.

Their lips smacked back together as if their mouths were both full of magnets, both men grunting and groaning into the kiss as lips parted and tongues connected. Dean's hands slid down from the side of Seth's face all way down the younger man's body until they stopped right on Seth's rounded ass. His large hands grabbed as much of each cheek as he could and pulled the younger man in closer. His head was still swimming while he tried to concentrate on _feeling_ how Seth was kissing him.

He was more than a little embarrassed that he couldn't even get hard. He and Seth had barely touched in the past few months and while he could feel Seth's erection pressing hard against the front of his jeans, he knew his own cock was lying flaccid in his briefs. He tried to concentrate on their kissing, push the negative thoughts and insecurities about his own manhood to the back of his mind but he was struggling. What sort of man could he be if he couldn't even get it up for his own boyfriend? He tried to push back his thoughts, knowing full well that thinking that way wouldn't help his problem one bit.

He felt his heart racing when Seth's hands moved to the front of his old pair of jeans. He felt the palm of Seth's right hand rub hard against where his flaccid cock lay, a sound of disappointment leaving Seth's lips as he discovered that Dean was nowhere near hard. Dean felt his cheeks colour and he just wanted to drop his head and hide. His breathing hitched and his heart thumped hard against his chest as Seth's hand crept inside of his jeans and wrapped his hand around his cock.

Dean let out a strangled moan from the simple touch. It had been _way _too long since they'd done this and even though he wasn't hard, the simple sensation still felt good. He broke the kiss and dropped his head into Seth's neck, his mouth and tongue attacking the other man's neck while Seth's hand moved up and down his cock, trying to get some sort of reaction to his touches. He felt his cheeks colour darker when after a few minutes he _still_ wasn't hard. Not even close.

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek and he pushed his face in closer to Seth's neck. His hands left his boyfriend's ass and moved up to wrap around Seth's waist, his arms almost squeezing the breath right out of him. He felt another tear roll down his cheek as he pushed in even closer to the younger man. He felt beyond humiliated right now. Here he was with the love of his love and nothing. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. "Sorry." He mumbled into Seth's neck. He felt the other man tense in his arms slightly and it only hurt his heart more. "I can't even fucking get it up for you."

Seth reached up and ran his hand through Dean's hair. He'd never really seen Dean like _this_. The man was the opposite of who he used to be. Not even a year ago it was Seth who was crumbling against Dean and it was up to the older man to hold him together. His heart lurched uncomfortably in his chest. It was hard to see his everything fall and he was supposed to be the one to pick him up when he didn't know how. He pulled his hand out from in between them and wrapped both arms around Dean, pulling him in closer. "It's okay Dean."

Dean pulled back from Seth's neck and for the first time Seth saw just how upset he was. His normally clear blue eyes were dull and bloodshot, the evidence of tears pooling at the corners of his eyes while there was also tear streaks running down his unshaven cheeks. "No it's not fucking okay. We haven't had sex in months and now that we _finally_ both want it, I can't even get it hard for you." He snapped right in Seth's face. The brown eyes that were watching him wavered slightly. "I'm a fucking excuse of a man. I can't even do anything fucking right."

"No one said that." Seth said quietly. He could feel his own emotion building up inside of him and he was trying desperately to not let it spill out. "We don't have to have sex tonight."

Dean's blue eyes narrowed slightly. "Would you prefer it if we did?"

"I wouldn't say no to it. It has been a while since we have." Seth answered carefully. He didn't want to make Dean feel worse about himself over this. "But it doesn't matter if we don't have sex."

Another tear rolled down Dean's cheek as he stared at Seth. His heart was as heavy as his conscience right now. "I let Roman down."

Seth's brow furrowed. "How did you let Roman down?"

"He told me to take care of you and I'm failing." Dean answered as another tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm supposed to be the one who takes care of you and be strong all the damn time but I can't do it. I'm a fucking failure Seth and the worst part is I've let you down."

"You haven't let me down Dean." Seth answered honestly. "But I am worried about you. Please let me help you."

"The only thing I ever wanted to do in life was wrestle and it's all fucking gone Seth." Dean said sadly. "I can't ever get back into a ring after what happened in WWE and I don't know what to do or how to handle it." He paused and sucked in a deep breath. "I don't want to be a mechanic."

"Dean, you may never be able to wrestle again but you're never going to lose me, okay?" Seth started. His hands reached up and he cupped the side of Dean's face, holding the older man steady. "You don't have to be a mechanic if you don't want to be, you can be whatever you want and I'll be there by your side." He paused for a moment. "I know it's hard Dean, it still is fucking hard for me to deal with the fact that we both lost our dream jobs but I just try and focus on being the best Seth Rollins I can be without dwelling on the past."

Dean didn't say anything. His lips felt like they were glued shut as he thought about Seth's words. He knew that he was nowhere near being the best Dean Ambrose that he could be and it fucking hurt. His stomach swirled uncomfortably. He had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do and that only heightened his insecurities. His mind went straight to the beer he'd left downstairs. He'd kill to be able to have that right now and drink away his fears.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?" Seth asked cautiously. He'd been watching Dean carefully and he'd seen the way that his older boyfriend's facial expression changed right in front of his to one of absolute defeat. It tugged at his heart to see the anguish on Dean's face. "And you know that I'll always be here to help you if you need it, don't you?"

"Yeah." Dean said so quietly that Seth almost missed it. "I'll, uh, I'll be downstairs. I'll help you make dinner when you're finished in the shower, okay?" He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Seth's lips that ended as quickly as it began.

"I'll see you soon." Seth responded. He turned his attention back to the shower and adjusted the water temperature before stepping in. From the other side of the glass, he watched Dean pull his t-shirt back on before leaving the room.

Seth's eyes squeezed shut and he turned to face the white tiled wall. He had tried so damn hard to hold back the emotions but now that he was alone, he could let it all out. He felt tear after tear roll down his cheek in a silent manner as the warm water rolled all over his body, digging into his sore muscles as he sobbed. He honestly had no idea what he was going to do.

He had to admit that he was a little upset that Dean couldn't even get an erection so that they could have sex for the first time in a few months but there was no way he was going to let the older man know that. It wasn't that he didn't feel wanted because he could see from the fiery look in Dean's eyes that the older man _wanted_ it bad but the look of disappointment when Dean's cock wouldn't respond in his boyfriend's eyes was what hurt him the most. Dean just looked so sad and a little embarrassed that it crushed his heart.

He opened his chocolate brown eyes after what felt like an eternity before he bent down to pick up his shampoo. He squeezed an adequate amount onto the palm of his hand before lathering the soap through his hair and all over his scalp. His mind was rolling through a million different scenarios. He'd watched from afar the way that Dean had slowly and steadily shrunk away from him, pushing him away at every chance he got when he was only trying to help the other man.

He didn't even know how to approach the situation about Dean's drinking habits. Watching the man who held his heart steadily drink more and more each day was uncomfortable and it made him question what was really going through Dean's head to make him want to do that. The whole six years that they had been together, Dean had never had a problem with alcohol until they had been fired. The rate at which the older man was drinking daily had him concerned but whenever he tried to ask the older man to either seek help or at least open up to him, he was shoved away.

He'd gotten a bit of an insight into how Dean was feeling when the older man had told him he felt like a failure. To Seth, Dean could never be a failure. They'd put up with a lot during their relationship but Dean could never be called a failure. His whole heart belonged to Dean and nothing could ever change that despite what the future may hold. His heart sagged in his chest slightly as he contemplated the future, his entire being crumbling at the thought of not being with the other man.

Another tear rolled down his cheek. It was incredibly hard to try and help someone who didn't necessarily want it even though they clearly needed it. It was even harder to watch someone crumble while they refused the help that was offered to them. He had no idea how to handle this situation and the worst part was he had no one to turn to. He'd lost a lot of contact with his friends after leaving their last job and this was a problem he didn't really want to bring up with his family. They'd been rude enough when they found out about him and Dean that he didn't want this to be the final nail in the coffin of his family's opinion of Dean.

Seth didn't know if he could handle this.

**TBC**

**A/N:** so that was part 2. Part 3 will be coming along soon and will be a little bit darker than this. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! GatesVengeance x


	3. Part 3

**Part 3:**

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer: **I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.

_Five years later_

Seth pulled his car into his driveway and took a deep breath. He glanced up at the dark windows of the house he shared with his boyfriend and noticed that the lights were out. He knew that Dean had to be home though, it was well past seven and the older man didn't do much at all during the day anymore. He slid the car into park before turning the ignition off and just sitting there in his vehicle. His brown eyes looked outside at their small patch of green grass on their front lawn, his heart sagging that it wasn't kept tidy. That was Dean's only job.

He closed his chocolate orbs and leaned his head back against the headrest on his seat. He sucked in a few hard, deep breaths to try and calm his breathing. His could feel his heart thumping hard against his sternum, the pain almost unbearable as his mind rolled over the past few years of his life. He'd certainly had a better five years than the last he'd had, the constant pressure and stress of living in the way that he had with Dean was certainly something he wished desperately that he could change, only to be pushed hard and far away.

Of course there had been a few good moments of his past five years. He'd worked hard and was now sitting in the top five of all Male Cross Fit athletes in the entire world and he couldn't have been prouder. He'd even managed to drag Dean away from the house long enough to witness his achievements despite the fact that he could see the hurt expression on the older man's face as he showed him his winnings. He'd even come to appreciate the fact that his career as an elite athlete was much more rewarding than the career he thought he'd wanted as a WWE superstar.

His mind pushed through more of his memories of his and Dean's relationship over the past five years. His heart hurt in his chest as he relived all of their triumphs and definite struggles. The first time they'd hit rock bottom as a couple was almost three years ago when he'd returned home from a grueling session at the gym to find Dean passed out in his favourite chair, empty cans of Jack Daniel's scattered through the living room and the television up full ball on a replay of Smackdown.

_Seth's heart was racing hard in his chest as he walked into the living room. His mind was swimming with all sorts of feelings that he'd been repressing for far too long until they had finally come to a head and exploded in the way that he knew they were bound to. He could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to calm himself down. This right here was the final straw for him. He had to say something._

_He closed the gap between where he was standing in the doorway and where Dean was laying across the black leather chair. He could feel his entire core shaking as he looked at the man he loved. He felt more than a little revolted just from the sight, let alone the smell that was wafting towards him. He leaned forward and grabbed a hold of the collar of Dean's navy blue t-shirt and shook the older man hard. "Wake the fuck up now!" He screamed right in Dean's face._

_He continued shaking Dean hard until finally after a few minutes later Dean's blue eyes that Seth once loved fluttered open. He felt even more disgusted by the look that Dean gave him. Those once vibrant blue eyes were faded and a little murky. The man that he had fallen in love with was gone and now he was left with this guy who was turning more and more into something he had never wanted to have. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"_

"_'M not doin' anyfing." Dean slurred right back. There was a cheeky grin on his lips but Seth was far from amused by it. The sight actually made him want to throw his guts up._

"_You can sleep down here tonight." Seth said sharply, perhaps a little harsher than he had anticipated. He let go of Dean's collar, the thud of Dean's body connecting with the chair hard echoing around the tense room. "Don't fucking come upstairs."_

_Seth had snapped and turned on his heel, the tears pooling at the corners of his eyes while he practically ran out of the room. He missed the tears that left the blue orbs that were locked onto his and he certainly missed that Dean grabbed another drink._

Seth shook his head and reopened his brown eyes, fresh tears rolling down his cheek as he stared out of the car. From inside of his black sedan he could see the black clouds. He knew that it was going to rain and rain hard. He thought that it was kind of fitting with the way he felt inside pretty much all of the time now. There was nothing that made him happy about coming home to the man that he still tragically loved and that made another tear leave his brown eyes and roll down his bearded cheek. He could still clearly remember the following morning that started it all.

_Seth cautiously walked down the stairs of their townhouse, his ears on high alert for any sound of his boyfriend downstairs. He hadn't slept a wink last night, his mind not allowing him to nor would the tears that fell from his eyes. He knew what he had to do and that terrified the absolute fuck out of him. He had to make his stand to step up to the plate and at least _try_ to help his boyfriend in whatever way he could._

_He walked into the kitchen and stopped right in his tracks. There at the stove, cooking what smelt like bacon and eggs while the coffee machine warmed up was Dean. He slowly took another step inside of the small kitchen and pulled out the chair, the squeaking of the chair being pulled across the linoleum floor causing the older man to turn around. He had to stop the noise that wanted to leave his throat as he took in the image of the older man. Dean's eyes were bloodshot and his face was at least a shade paler then what it usually was. "Hey."_

"_Hey." Dean's voice croaked out. It was evident that the older man hadn't gotten any sleep either. "I, uh, I'm sorry about last night Seth. I really am. Please believe me that I'm fucking sorry."_

_Seth sighed. "I wish I could but this shit keeps happening Dean." His brown eyes locked with Dean's blues and it hurt him to make that connection, the connection that he often used to love making. "I want you to get help for your problem Dean and I mean it because I don't think I can be with you anymore if you continue to keep self destructing."_

_Dean let out a shaky breath before he spoke again. "Will you come with me? I don't know if I can do it by myself."_

_The smallest smile tugged at Seth's lips. "I'll be there to hold your hand through it all the same way that you were for me."_

_Dean closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around the top of Seth. It felt good to actually be pressed right up against the younger man. He'd missed the simplest of touches from the younger man even though Seth didn't wrap his own arms around him. "Thank you." He whispered quietly against Seth's black hair._

"_You have to promise that you'll try though Dean" Seth warned. "Because I stand by what I said. I can't keep watching you slowly kill yourself this way anymore."_

"_I'm gonna try so hard. I promise." Dean said quietly against Seth's hair. His entire body felt like it caught on fire when Seth's arms finally wrapped his body and held him. His confidence was higher than it had been in a long, long time now that he knew Seth would be there to help him through the biggest challenge he had in life._

Seth felt himself jump from inside of his car when the first loud noise of thunder rocked him right to the core and then the rain started. Sheets and sheets of heavy rain were pelting his car and he knew that he should be going inside, getting out of the cold but he wasn't quite ready to leave the confines of his car just yet. Once he stepped out of his vehicle and walked into the house he'd owned for years, he knew he'd have to make the hardest decision of his entire life and he wasn't sure that he was even remotely close to finally do what was best for him.

His mind wandered back through the years as the rain fell loudly around him, memories of the empty promise that Dean had made clouding his entire mind. He'd been there with Dean to hold his hand as they went to a therapist, Seth in on every single session, his heart aching as the older man poured out every single thought in his mind to the complete stranger who nodded and wrote down the relevant information. Seth felt his heart sag in his chest while he listened, the unmistakable hurt of not even knowing half of what his boyfriend was telling the other woman, almost too much to handle.

Once they'd gotten home from their first session, Seth had pleaded with Dean to tell him _everything _and not spare any details. He would have been lying to say that he wasn't shocked with a lot of what Dean had divulged to him about what had happened to him throughout his life. His brown eyes had watered and several tears had rolled down his cheeks while he sat there holding onto his boyfriend of many years large hand, their fingers still sliding together in a way that both had almost forgotten about. Blue and brown had connected again that night in the most special of ways that both thought was lost forever.

After about a month of attending regular twice weekly therapy sessions that allowed Dean to finally open up about why he chose to do the things he did, why he chose to act the way he did and their therapist had recommended that Dean attend a three month stay at a local rehabilitation centre. Dean had been the most hesitant at first, his thoughts immediately going to Seth and worrying about how the younger man would be on the outside without him. Seth had grabbed his hand that night and told him to go, to fix his problem for the sake of them and that he would be fine.

The three months were as equally hard for both of them but with regular visits from Seth, Dean was able to see the program through to the end and come out of the centre a completely different man. The man who came out of rehab was someone that Seth thought was gone forever. And for the next few months, their relationship was almost back to where it had been when they first moved in together. Even their sex life had returned in an almost ridiculous way, they just couldn't get enough of each other no matter how hard they tried. They were both so loved up and happy that it truthfully made Seth a little cautious about what could possibly happen next.

It wasn't until almost a year after he'd be out of rehab that the downward spiral for Dean began again. A seemingly innocent invitation to one of their closest friend's weddings and the outrageously awkward run in with both of their former bosses was what pushed him over the edge faster than Seth could catch him. He would never forget the day that sealed their fate as a couple.

_Seth was all smiles as they walked into the reception, his hand tightly held by Dean as they walked proudly towards a group of their old friends. He knew that today was going to be the biggest test for both of them, Dean especially. He glanced to his right and looked at Dean, the older man's blue eyes scanning the room in almost a panicked way. Seth dropped his hand from his boyfriend's and instead wrapped his long arms around Dean's waist. "Don't worry Dean."_

_Dean's arms tentatively wrapped around Seth and he felt secure for the briefest of moments. He leaned in close to Seth and inhaled the younger man's scent, the familiar smells of Calvin Klein and the fruity shampoo that he used hitting his nostrils and calming him. He leaned forward and pressed the gentlest of kisses to the man who held his heart's cheek. "I love you."_

"_I love you too." Seth breathed back. He had to admit his own heart was racing. He was absolutely fucking terrified of the fact that they might run into one of their former bosses but he knew he had to be the strong one for Dean. He pulled back and looked right into Dean's blue eyes, his lips curling into a smile just from the sight of them. He was glad that they eyes he fell in love with were finally back. "C'mon. Let's go say hi to Roman."_

_Dean's hand slid on top of Seth's and their fingers entwined as they crossed the room and made their way towards where the handsome groom was standing with his beautiful wife. "Reigns!" He yelled out loudly, causing the older Samoan man to turn around and make his way towards them._

_Roman embraced them both with strong hugs that the entire room witnessed. He ruffled each of their heads before dragging them over to where his wife was. She looked beautiful dressed in a fitted, mermaid style lace dress that had just the slightest touch of sparkle to it. Their daughter was dressed in a puffy, tulle creation that made her look perfect in her father's eyes. The four of them chatted for a few minutes before Seth felt a hard tap on his right shoulder._

_His brown eyes bulged as he turned around and looked right into the eyes of the man who fired him, Paul Levesque. His stomach was doing back flips and his heart was racing hard. "What do you want?"_

_Paul looked taken aback. He never got spoken to like that. "I just came over here to say hi. Is that against the law?"_

_Dean turned once he'd heard the other man's voice. "Can you just fuck off?"_

"_You don't speak to me like that." Paul snapped._

"_I can speak to you however I want to. We're not employed by you anymore." Dean shot back quickly. "I don't know why you'd want to talk to a couple of faggots like us anyway."_

"_There's no need to use words like that." Paul said quickly. "I mostly came over here to say congratulations to Seth for his achievements in at the Cross Fit games. Well done Seth. I would congratulate you for something Dean if you've even done anything."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Dean snapped. His blue eyes were narrowed as he glared at his former employer._

"_Well, I mean, you're pretty athletically gifted and I haven't seen a thing from you." Paul responded quickly. "Are you even doing anything with yourself or are you just living off Seth's success?"_

"_Paul." Roman's deep voice cut through the tense moment. "Leave them alone, okay? Don't you think you've made their lives bad enough already?"_

_Paul pointed his finger at Roman. "You had better watch how you talk to me, boy-o."_

"_Just go." Roman shook his head. He had been watching Dean carefully throughout the entire conversation, his heart pounding hard in his chest as the slightly younger man's face fell from Paul's words. He was relieved when he watched his boss leave finally but he didn't remove his eyes from Dean's face. He was painfully aware of Dean's transgressions over the past few years and had received many teary phone calls from his former tag team partner about the issue. He reached out and gently placed a hand on Dean's bicep. "Don't worry about him Dean. He's a fucking dick."_

"_Uh, yeah." Dean ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I just need a few minutes of fresh air."_

_Seth had to try extra hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from his brown eyes as he watched Dean drop his hand and walk across the room towards the open door. He lifted his gaze and locked his brown eyes onto Roman's grey orbs but that was when he lost it. The first tear fell from his eye and he reached his hand up to wipe it away. "I'm sorry." He said in a quiet whisper to Roman's wife who was watching him carefully._

_She of course knew of what Seth had been going through the past few years and her heart ached for the younger man. She closed the gap between them and gave him a tight hug. "It's okay sweetie. Roman's told me. I know exactly what you're thinking." She glanced over her shoulder and looked at her husband who was watching her intently. "Do you want to take Seth outside for a moment?"_

_Roman nodded and once his wife and his best friend had parted from their hug, he wrapped his own arm around Seth's shoulders and led them out through the large reception room out onto the deserted balcony. He almost expected to find Dean out there. He kept walking until they were up against the chalky white balcony rail._

"_I'm sorry Roman. I'm fucking ruining your wedding right now." Seth sobbed, the tears starting to fall freely from his eyes as he stared up at the dark night sky._

"_Seth, you're not ruining it at all. If anything, Paul was the one who is ruining it." Roman responded, his arm still tightly around Seth's shoulders. "I know what you're scared of but maybe you're not giving him enough credit."_

"_We were going so well Roman! We were going so damn well!" Seth sobbed. "We were even talking about fucking getting married soon but I know what's going to happen and it just fucking sucks man."_

"_You don't even know that he will drink again Seth." Roman tried to calm the younger man down._

"_He fucking will, I know he will." Seth said quietly. "I'm sorry to drop all of this on you Ro and at your fucking wedding of all places but I don't know if I can handle him falling off the rails again."_

"_He might not, that's all I'm saying." Roman tried to reassure him. "C'mon, let's get back inside before we freeze to death."_

_Seth smiled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Maybe he was overreacting after all. They turned and walked back to the reception. He felt his heart stop right in his chest and his mouth fall open when he looked in and saw across the room that Dean had a glass of something that looked like wine. He felt yet another tear roll down his cheek. It was all over now. "I'll be back in soon okay Roman?"_

_Roman looked over to where Seth was looking and sighed. Seth was right after all. "I'll go talk to him. Don't stay out here too long."_

_Seth nodded and walked back towards the balcony railing, his brown eyes pointed up towards the stars as he tried not to get even more upset. He stayed out there for at least another hour before he returned back into the reception room, his mind full of thoughts about everything as he closed the gap between him and Dean. He never found out if Roman spoke to Dean but was pleased when he found that Dean was drinking a glass of lemonade instead of what he thought he would be. Maybe there was hope for them yet._

Seth blinked back more tears as he sat in the car. Everything about him hurt right now and he didn't know how to fix it. A few days after they'd gotten back from the wedding was when Dean really fell off the rails, his drinking rapidly picking up as he slowly began to do little more than sit around the house and drink. He had tried to encourage the older man to get out of the house and do something, pick up a hobby, get a job, anything but was always met with the same response. _"I don't feel like it."_

He let out a heavy sigh. He knew that eventually he'd have to leave the safe haven of his car and face the man that was no doubt waiting inside for him. He'd put up with a lot from his boyfriend, had to deal with issues that he never thought he would ever have to because of Dean and all that did was cause more resentment from Seth to Dean. It wasn't fair that Seth had to be the one to watch the love of his life throw away everything and slowly kill himself with alcohol. He let out another long sigh, his heart as heavy as it ever was going to be.

He glanced out of the windows of his car, the rain still pouring down hard outside. He groaned but still grabbed his gym bag from the passenger seat and after a short three count, shoved open the driver's side door, slamming it shut before he ran towards his house. He had made sure that he had locked the expensive car before he turned his attention back to the dark house. His heart was thundering in his chest as he shakily lifted his hand and slid his house key into the lock.

An overwhelming darkness washed over him as he unlocked the door and stepped inside of the cold house. The house didn't even feel like a home anymore, the four walls and a roof gradually growing into something he didn't want to know anymore. Almost like the man he knew he'd find passed out in the living room. He kicked off his gym shoes and carelessly dropped his bag at the door. He quietly made his way through the dark house, his senses heightened as he walked the short distance from the front door to the living room where his worst fears were definitely confirmed.

There Dean was with a bottle of beer in one hand, fast asleep on the chair. Seth held back a sob, a soft noise escaping his lips as yet more tears fell from his brown eyes. He couldn't believe that the man he had loved for years would allow himself to turn into this. Dean was barely recognizable from the man who used to strut around the ring like he owned it. His hair was short, his face unshaven but it was his appearance that really disturbed Seth the most and it wasn't until he was actually standing there looking at the sleeping man that it all sunk in.

Dean had lost a lot of weight over the long, drawn out years of no longer being wrestlers. His face that was once so full of life was hollow and sunken, forcing his blue eyes to pop out more. The arms that Seth used to not be able to fall asleep without them being wrapped around were a shadow of their former self. They were no longer the thick, muscular arms but were thin and scrawny, much like the rest of Dean. The older man had lost a whole lot of weight from just drinking alcohol and barely eating. It physically pained Seth that he couldn't help the older man even though he had tried and tried and tried.

He walked over to where the light switch was and slapped it on, the bright lights hurting his retinas, causing him to squint slightly but there was no reaction from Dean. The older man merely let out a loud snore before rolling over and burying his head further into the plush leather. Seth huffed loudly, storming out of the living room and straight into the kitchen. He walked straight over the cupboard and pulled out a large plastic tumbler. He moved over to the sink and filled the large red plastic cup up with cold water before he went back into the living room.

He _almost_ second guessed himself as he walked back into the living room and stopped just in front of where Dean was still sleeping. He thought that maybe he was being a little cruel but in the end, wasn't Dean the cruel one? Dean was the one who had put them both through all of this emotional turmoil. He let out a shaky breath before he lifted the plastic cup up and poured the entire contents of the cup all over Dean's still sleeping face.

Dean spluttered as the cold water hit his face. His blue eyes opened and he sat up, his arms reaching up to wipe his face and remove any excess water from him. He heard his beer bottle land with a thud on their carpeted floor but he didn't pay any attention. He focused his attention on the source of the water, blue eyes narrowing as he looked up at Seth who was standing there. The water had sobered him up a lot, not that he was really that drunk anyway. Alcohol didn't have quite the same effect that it used to. "What the _fuck_ was that for?"

"You know damn well what it was for!" Seth snapped back. He carelessly threw the empty cup onto the floor, never once breaking eye contact with his boyfriend. "I am sick to fucking death of coming home and finding you like this! You _promised_ me that you would change and you fucking haven't!"

"Have I let you down?" Dean asked sharply. He rose to his feet, the sudden movement causing his head to swim from his intoxication. "Am I not good enough for the great Seth Rollins?"

"You were." Seth said with a sharp exhale. "You _were _good enough for me before you kept letting me down." He paused for a moment and watched as Dean's face fell. "I gave you a thousand chances Dean and every single time you let me down."

Dean's heart sagged uncomfortably in his chest as he watched the tears well up in Seth's eyes. He knew he'd well and truly blown it with Seth but there was no way that he wasn't going to give the younger man up without a fight. "I would've married you Seth if I wasn't so fucked in the head." He said sadly, walking over to the entertainment unit was. He bent down and reached into the bottom drawer, pulling out a small black velvet box. He stood up and closed the gap between them. He forced the small box into Seth's hands before he took a step back. "I swear I tried Seth but fuck it's hard. I wanted to be perfect for you and I fucking failed. Again."

Seth opened the box and gasped as he looked at the ring inside the small black box. It was a beautiful gold band with a square, rose gold coloured diamonds embedded into it. He pulled the ring out of the box and almost melted at the words that were inscribed into the gold. _'For now until forever'_. "It's beautiful." He said almost sadly. He blinked back more tears that were falling rapidly from his eyes as he locked his chocolate orbs with Dean's blues. "But I can't marry you. Not anymore. Not ever."

Dean nodded. "I know."

Seth took a deep breath, shoving the ring back into the box and closing it. "I can't keep doing this anymore Dean. I mean it." He felt another warm tear roll down his cheek as he kept his eye contact with the other man. "I've tried to be there to help you through it all, hell, I even held your hand through rehab but one little stumble at Roman's wedding and it was all over. All of that hard work that you and I put into making you better was thrown away because of some asshole."

"Are you disappointed in me?" Dean's voice was as sad as his whole face looked.

"Yes." Seth answered. "I wanted us to have it all Dean and I think I've been pretty damn patient with you."

Dean didn't speak as he listened to Seth's words. Every single word that Seth spoke was like a knife to his heart and it hurt real bad.

"I just, I can't be here to see you throw your life away Dean. I love you more than anything in the whole entire world and it fucking _hurts_ to watch you drink yourself to death. Hell, you've lost so much weight now that I'm fucking terrified that you might have a heart attack or something." Seth spoke through the tears. He was aware of the rain falling harder outside, almost like it was a reflection of how he felt. "I can't do this anymore Dean. I've thought long and hard about this for _months_ and _months_ and trust me, I don't want to do it but I think I have to. I can't be with you anymore."

Dean felt his heart shatter in his chest. He felt the first tear roll down his cheek and he knew he was done for. He wanted to speak but found it almost impossible, his tongue caught in knots as he tried to speak. He wanted to. He wanted to beg Seth to stay, to reconsider, promise that he would do better but he knew he'd missed his boat. Hell, he'd get down on his knees if he thought it would help.

"Did you hear me?" Seth's voice was growing louder in volume the more upset he got.

"Yeah. I heard you." Dean answered in an almost whisper.

"Are you going to say anything?" The tears were flowing down Seth's bearded cheek now. His entire heart, his everything was on the line and Dean was just silent. "I'm giving up on everything that we've worked so hard for! This is the end and you're just silent! Say something!"

"What do you want me to say Seth?" Dean's voice grew a little louder that time. "You've made your decision. It must be easy to throw away your boyfriend like he's a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe."

SMACK

Dean recoiled a few steps back from the hard slap right across his face. Seth was a lot stronger than he remembered not that he had much to go off anymore. This was one of the first times that they'd even really been in the same room as each other for months. He felt the tears pool in the corners of his blue eyes as he slowly turned his head to look back at his almost ex-boyfriend. "I bet that felt good, didn't it?" He truthfully had no idea why he was even goading the other man into it but his heart was much too torn up inside to even spare a second thought to his own reasoning.

"You broke my fucking heart Dean!" Seth sobbed. "You have no fucking idea how _hard_ it is to be put into the position that I'm in! You're a selfish asshole and you should have tried harder to save us!"

Dean let out a low growl before he turned back to face where their television was. Sitting across the top of the entertainment unit was several photos of both he and Seth from across their decade long relationship. His heart was broken as he stared at the photos of the two men he barely recognized, so happy and in love with each other. But that heartbreak quickly changed into anger. He grabbed the first picture on the end of the unit. It was in a moderately sized black frame and it was a picture of them when they had first started dating, back when their faction was still strong and when they were a secret. He turned back to Seth, his heart beating so loud in his ears. "You're breaking my heart too Seth by doing this."

"You should have tried harder to get better and this wouldn't be happening." Seth's voice was quiet but the content of his words cut deep.

"Maybe you could have tried harder too!" Dean shot back. "Do you know how fucking hard it was to be the one who held us both together all the damn time? And then when I truly needed your help, you ran out the door faster than I could catch you. You could have helped me more than leaving all the damn time to do Cross Fit shit." His voice was growing in volume as he spoke. He glanced down at the photo frame in his grasp, his entire body shaking hard as he just stared at the two people he felt like he didn't even know. His hand tightened around the corner of the frame, a single tear falling across the glass. His hand jerked hard to the right and he watched with satisfaction as the picture crashed hard against their cream coloured walls.

"What's wrong with you?!" Seth's voice was shrill compared to the otherwise silent house.

"All of these photos symbolize pivotal moments in our relationship where we were truly in love." Dean started. He reached behind him for the next photo. It was in a silver frame, roughly an A4 sized one and it was a picture of the both of them in a park, arms wrapped tightly around each other while Seth was pressing a kiss to the side of his head. He remembered that day. It was the first time they had told each other they loved each other. His fingers tightened around it and he was about to throw it hard against the wall when he felt Seth's strong hand around his wrist. "What?"

"You don't need to destroy these." Seth's voice was quiet yet forceful.

"Why not? There's no way we're ever getting back together is there?" Dean snapped.

"No. We won't be." Seth answered sadly.

"I don't see what's wrong with doing this then if you are just going to leave me anyway." Dean said sharply. "I broke your heart and you broke mine. This is my way of coping."

"Says the man who was drunk not even half an hour ago." Seth said quietly, almost quiet enough for Dean to miss but not far enough.

"Get out." Dean said in a single breath.

Seth's brown eyes widened. "What?"

"If you want to leave me so bad, then get the fuck out!" Dean snapped loudly.

"I'll never stop loving you Dean. You'll always own a part in my heart." Seth responded. His voice was wavering as the tears fell from his chocolate orbs. He could hear the rain pouring from outside. "I hope you get better one day."

Dean didn't say a word. He merely watched as Seth turned around and walked out of the door and out of his life. His heart wasn't broken, it was shattered into a thousand pieces. He let the tears fall freely from his eyes as he looked around the house that once held so many happy memories for the couple. His eyes narrowed as they locked onto the last of their photo frames. His hands swept them off the top of the entertainment unit including the one still in his hand, his breathing ragged as he watched his memories crash right in front of his blue eyes. This was the end, this was it.

He turned on his heel and headed straight towards the kitchen, searching for his only salvation. He dug through every single cupboard until he found the last bottle of Jack Daniels. He knew it was stupid that he was turning to the one thing that cost him his everything but he had no idea of what else to do. His heart was pounding in his ears as he climbed the stairs of the townhouse and made his way back to where his bedroom was.

He trudged inside of the cold, empty looking room, plopping himself down on the edge that was facing out towards the windows. His blue eyes stared at the rain that was striking hard against the windows, feeling like it was a reflection of his soul. He twisted the lid off the top of the bottle of alcohol and lifted it to his lips. He sucked down as much as he possibly could before he spluttered and the bottle went flying across the room. He didn't pay attention to the mess that it made as it hit the wall first before landing on the floor.

He allowed himself to flop back hard against the mattress, blue orbs fluttering shut as he was engulfed by the fluffy mattress. His head was swimming from proper intoxication, the burning of the strong alcohol trickling down his throat while he felt himself float away. He tried to erase the heartache of what had just happened out of his mind, praying that when he woke up that Seth would be there in his bed with him. This would all just be a bad dream. None of this was real.

But when Dean awoke the following morning with the warm sunlight streaming into his eyes, he was very aware that he was alone. The bed was cold where Seth normally would have been and the whole house felt lonely despite the fact that he hadn't even left his bedroom yet. He sat up with slowly, head pounding as he stared out of the window, tears pooling at his eyes as he realized he'd lost it all for good. Seth was never coming back. He'd ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.

It was just him and the rain for now until his heart stopped.

**END**

**A/N: **So that's the end of that one! I admit, this was one of the hardest fics I've ever had to write cause it really sucks to break up your otp in such a heart wrenching way. So I appreciate all the reviews that you guys have sent me. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Until next time! GatesVengeance x

And I sure hope I'm not the only one still feeling upset over Seth turning on the rest of the Shield...my feeeelings!


End file.
